Hey everyone. This is a post that I’m entering for the contest on postitivewriter,com called “Writer’s doubt.” I hope you enjoy it. here’s the link to the contest http://positivewriter.com/writing-contest-doubt/
How I overcame Writer’s Doubt and How You Can Too!
Have you ever felt like a nothing? Like you were less than the dust of the earth? Have you ever been criticized or been told you just aren’t good enough? Have you ever believed that they were telling the truth? If so you are suffering though self-doubt. You don’t believe like you’re worth anything. I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong.
Everyone goes through self-doubt at some point of their lives. It’s that nagging voice that lurks at the back of our minds saying things like:
- “You aren’t good enough,”
- “Look at that, you call that writing?”
- “So and so is a natural, why should you even try?
Why do we do this to ourselves? What makes us always focus on the negative? Why do we believe the voice in our head?
One of my hardest experiences with self-doubt.
Now you may think “What does this blogger know? They can’t possibly know how I feel.” Sure I may not know how you feel. I don’t know what you’re going through. I do know one thing though, Self-doubt destroys writers and people. You might ask at this point “and how would you know?” It destroyed me.
When I was in sixth grade I was shy but had a good view of myself. Then the bullying started. I was noticed as different and scolded, so to speak, for it.
They laughed at my hair, my clothes, and my indifference that I tried to show. I told myself that what they said didn’t matter but deep inside I knew it was a lie. I did care and because of this I began to fall.
I wished it away but it continued with more intensity. I tried to stand up for myself which only made it worse. At length they silenced me, whether I wanted it or not. I stopped being me and tried to be who they wanted. I gave up on myself.
How I overcame self-doubt
The start of high school came with the disappearance of my tormentors. It left me stranded, like a goat among sheep. Everyone had their groups except me.
The bullying had made me afraid of everyone and everything. I didn’t want to stand out, for in my mind standing out was bad. Being me was bad.
One invitation changed all this. The leader of a writing group invited me to sit at their table at lunch. I gained friends and they helped me rise and be the person I was meant to be.
My friends brought back my self-confidence again. The scars the bullies left will always linger but it won’t bring me down again.
Self-doubt is not only caused by bullying.
I am not here to suggest that bullying is the only cause of self-doubt. You may not have been bullied in your child hood and yet still have lots of self-doubt.
If you have ever felt like you aren’t worth enough, you have experienced self-doubt. If you have doubted yourself on any other premise you have experienced self-doubt.
Things that I said to myself during the time I was bullied.
Here are some things that I tell myself when I experience self-doubt that you can do as well.
“I am a strong confidant human being.”
“I make a difference.”
“Nobody can make me feel like a nothing unless I let them.”
“I may make mistakes but I can and will overcome them,”
Three things my friends did that you can do for yourself.
Let’s go from my friends examples to determine how you can defeat self-doubt.
- They accepted me for who I was. Just like my friends took me in no matter what faults I had, you can apply this to yourself. Look past your flaws and be YOU! Accept that you make mistakes but that doesn’t make you a horrible person. It means you’re learning because you notice these mistakes.
- They listened to my voice. If my friends could listen to the voice of a self-doubtful teenager so should you listen to your own voice. Your voice is important. Your voice is who you are inside. Heed it, listen to it, don’t interrupt it, and embrace it.
- They didn’t tear me down. If they didn’t tear me down and point out my flaws, then don’t do it to yourself. You can become the best friend to yourself. You can lift yourself up.
So what can you learn from this?
You are important. People may say you’re not good enough, they’ll point out your flaws, tear you down and make you feel inferior, but until you believe them they can’t win.
Your voice is important. It’s what you show the world, it defines you. Without the power of your voice you are nothing. You have something to offer the world that only you can create.
Don’t let self-doubt control you, because until you give in, it has no power. I’m not telling you it doesn’t exist. I feel it all the time while writing. I’m telling you that you CAN overcome self-doubt.
I hope we can learn, grow and defeat self-doubt in this world. I hope you won’t let it get the better of you. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. May we conquer self-doubt together.