I’m back (and not backing down)

Hey everyone, I’m back. Long depressive episode happened and i almost convinced myself that I couldn’t write. Till a friend gave me some tough love knowing that I could get upset and completely loose their friendship. I’m grateful for them for what they said.

I am powerful. I didn’t realize the power my words have. I made a difference in a lot of people’s life by my words when i guest posted on The Write Practice both times. (see the first http://thewritepractice.com/destroyed-self-doubt/) (and the second http://thewritepractice.com/writers-monster/) I wish my anxiety and depression didn’t blind me so badly.

My parents really messed me up to the point now, even after being an adult, i’m extremely dependent. I don’t have a lisence, i don’t know how to cook, i barely have a job and i don’t know how to make friends. It really sucks.  It’s like going through your whole life empty inside and walking around in a bubble forever separated from the people who should be your go to.

It hurts to think about my whole childhood being biased on a lie i told myself every day. It’s okay, everything is fine. If only that were true. I know I’m a writer, but doubt has kept me silent for these past months if not a year. I’m sorry.

have you ever had to do something you really didn’t want to? That it was the last thing in the world you ever wanted to do? writing, because of my condition has become like that. Except it’s ten times worse. It’s like I’ve been swallowed by a mountain that i have to move to write even a single word. It hurts and sucks. Sometimes i just need someone to wake me up.

I’m going to start writing a post every Wednesday. I apologize if it’s crap or just me venting on my day. It’s a way for me to start battling this dragon. I hope you guys have a good day and see you next week.

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