So I’m doing something that is scarily brave for the next little bit. I’m going to be writing 500 words per day and the best way too keep me at it is to post it somewhere, here. Here’s yesterday’s and I’ll be posting today’s a little bit later. I hope you enjoy it!
I watched them as they walked away…
I watched them as they walked away, and hid my face in shame. I could see them laughing, seemingly at my pain. How could you be a writer? How could you be great? When the authors all around you, are leaving you to fate. How could you be special? When they leave you to rot? How could you compete with that? It hits me like a rock. What do you have that could help the world? Come on you’re just a teenage girl. What could you have to say that hasn’t already been said? I can see all that you dread.
Come on and show me what you can do. Come one make your dreams come true. Oh wait that’s right you can’t be like all the writers before you. Of course I can’t I’m not them I’m my own person. I may not know what needs to be said but can’t that be said by everyone? No I don’t know what my life has instore for me, I don’t know a thing about some things. But you know what I know one thing, I am more than you, I can beat this pain. Sure they may have walked away but I can try again.
I don’t need doubts and fears telling me what I already know. Those are the reasons that I’ve decided to go. Beyond the pain beyond the fear beyond the words of hurt. Beyond the chaos beyond the pain beyond the hurt beyond all the rest. I know my fears and know my doubts can’t give me my daily breath. Sure they’re there, as surely as is death. But I won’t’ let them own me, I won’t let them creep. I won’t let them beat me up and think I’m nothing neat.
Sure, knock me down and hurt my heart and tear me apart with words. But out of those words I’ll piece together something much more then you saw. Words can shape and bleed and burn and change the wretched soul. But words can change and words can heal and words can bring back life. Out of the pieces of my ripped soul I will craft words. Words that no one else could see in the woods of my heart.
I hurt and bleed and break and bow but I will not be broken. There’s a part of me that lies still free of my unbroken soul. It’s there I know, like a glowing coal, waiting for me to see. That I can be who I want to be no matter what they say. They’re not me, they can’t see the depth of human souls. They can’t stop me they can’t make me they can’t tear me down. Because in the end when
they’ve thrown their words, I was born to craft them.
Letter by letter, word by word I will change the world, one heart at a time. And when they ask how I did it I’ll smile in my little way. I’ll tell them that through all the rest I’m here to stay and change my world with words that were once cutting to me.